2003-06-24
9:40 p.m.

Deciding to stray away from those I was with tonight fucked me over.

Thinking coffee over ice cream was smarter also fucked me over.

Last time I saw you was in November, a night I wish never happened or I could at least forget that it did.

You broke me that night & seeing you again tonight broke me all over again.

Don't you remember what you did? Don't you remember how you acted? Don't you remember how you treated me? Don't you remember how you hurt me?

How come you are allowed to not remember and I still have to? How is that fair?

What give you the right to place your hands on me? You weren't allowed to then & you most certianly aren't allowed to now. But like then, you did as YOU wanted tonight.

I didn't want you to notice me. Months of not talking and I still had nothing to say to you.

You have fucked me over forever. I hear the name or have to sit beside those you are related to & pretend like nothing happened, like you never happened.

And you don't care. You touch me, you offer to buy me a drink, you talk to me like we are best of friends, you talk to me like you did nothing wrong.

I don't want to feel any part of you even near me. I didn't want to then, I sure as hell don't want to now.

I know what you are like. I know who you are. I know what you want.

What you want you will not get. You weren't supposed to get it last time either but you still did. Lucky you huh?

I should have spoke up. I should have done something. I shouldn't have met you for coffee that night & I hate that I again met you for coffee tonight, only this time without knowing & against my will.

Against my will.... something you know very well.

Thank you for cutting up my insides tonight. Thanks for making me remember your touch. Thanks for being fake.

But fuck you for forgetting what you did.

A Quiz - 2004-12-15
Love Angel Music Baby - 2004-11-16
A Little Less Angry - 2004-11-10
I Really Do Wonder - 2004-11-09
What A Fucking Whore - 2004-10-26

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