2004-02-18
5:41 p.m.

Missing lots.

It feels like every single part of me has died over the past few weeks.

Things go from bad, to worse, to unbearable so quickly.

I'm more unsure of what I want now more then ever.

Dreading my operation more & more as each day passes. New thoughts that just scare the hell outta me. Just more things to fill my brain with, like it isn't full enough already.

I want my old life back.

No worries, no lying, no money issues, no life without my baby, no bad thoughts, no fighting, no nothing.

I'm going crazy in this room.

I miss my house, fucking school.

I want to go back every single day, but at the same time I want to leave it all behind.

I'm scared to lose things before I am ready to let them go.

I wasn't ready to let go 2 weeks ago.

I don't like fakes.

You know nothing, so why bother with me?

There is nothing to gain, trust me.

I wish that I was at Disney World with my dad the other weekend. I love that place. I miss is so much.

But no more trips anymore.

Trips are now replaced with weddings & new families.

Australia sounds better & better everyday.

I miss that place & those feelings aswell.

I know the bad ones all too well now.

Stress, stress & then some more stress.

It's not going to end, I know it won't.

Not now, not ever.

I'm done now, you can leave.

A Quiz - 2004-12-15
Love Angel Music Baby - 2004-11-16
A Little Less Angry - 2004-11-10
I Really Do Wonder - 2004-11-09
What A Fucking Whore - 2004-10-26

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